Elephantitis

The most overrated thing going is the ginormous penis! Not to be confused with a good healthy sized penis. Im talking dudes that need an extra leg sewn into their jeans. Guys that have to wear a back brace for support. The dude that married Super Head ( I mean YOU Eddie Winslow!).

From watching porn and listening to the tramps they housed me with my freshman year of college I thought I wasnt living life cuz i hadnt had a penis the size of aretha franklin's arm. I went to all girls high school so I didnt have access to unlimited number of men... Until I got to college where there was a plethora of willing and able bodied young men with no morals or self respect. But according to my roommate and hallmates I was missing out! Regular penis just was not gonna do. I needed to find the biggest penis in our college town and conquer it!! I rose to the challenge...

FASTFORWARD to the invention of picture mail. I go to the local hole in the wall club about 10 deep in a 1997 plymouth and meet this nice yet slightly criminal looking young man. We exchange numbers and go our seperate ways. About 2 hours later my polyphonic Back that Thang Up ringtone goes off and I open it (flip phones were the SHIT back then....it even had the colored screen!) eureka I found the enormous penis of my dreams. This man had to have been exposed to some type of radiation early in his life...there is no way that something like this occurs in nature! So my fast ass invites this mutant over and get to the business. UNFORTUNATELY for me, my spine, and hip alignment I find out those witches were lying! I unceremoniously tell him to get the eff up offa me and make him leave. He later tells me only about 1/4 of the penis beast even made it in...........but fortunately for the ladies I think he is in a wheelchair now...not cuz he's cripple but for extra back support...